Die Hard: 2008-09 Phoenix Suns Season Preview

"I’m doing the game on TV for Euro Sport here and I hear someone is saying that they should’ve put Amare Stoudemire on this team instead of Tayshaun Prince. I mean, are you crazy? You want a prima donna instead of a team guy like Prince who only cares about winning? I mean, just shut up. You are out of your mind." Analyst Dan Peterson

Charles Barkley: "I love Steve Nash, but this is Chris Paul's and Deron Williams' league right now. I always say that Chris Paul is driving and Deron Williams is in the back seat."
Reggie Miller: "Where's Steve Nash?"
Barkley: "He's in the trunk."

"It's official. Shaquille O'Neal, he of the decaying body, decreased stamina, excess ego, and limited effectiveness, is not long for this league." Bethlehem Shoals

"Someone should clue in the Big Au Revoir, and others closer to sports dusk than dawn, that the old show-biz ethic -- Always leave 'em wanting more -- means after you're done, not while you're still on stage." Steve Aschburner

"Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." Malcolm X

The last four years have been exciting and our team became a critical darling. However after a few crushing playoff defeats, the reviews have turned negative. We've turned from a Spielberg blockbuster into Leonard Part 6. The Suns are down in the polls. Sports writers are writing eulogies. In reality, the only thing that is dying is the hype. This team is building a new identity. The organization wants to move from winner to champion. This team's legacy is to rise from defeat. Reborn.

The universe revolves around the Sun. Like the planets and moons keeping orbit, the Suns' fortunes revolve around the big body in the middle.

Shaq. You've got more haters than George W. Bush. One request before you start to totally commit your mind to owning the Magic, wealth protection and a plush pad in Sun City. Think about what it would take for you to take a run at averaging 20 rebounds a game in a playoff series. Can you be satisfied with lobs, offensive rebounds and maybe 4 or 5 plays called for you? Could you be like 1972 Wilt? If the regular season is a long warmup for the playoffs, can you train to dominate?

Steve Nash. You know what would be fun? Running the break in the NBA Finals. The games would live forever on Tivo and iPhones. You'd be the Ron Jeremy of training tapes.

Amare. You have to capture the imagination of the youth. Yo Gabba Gabba is fun for toddlers but teenagers like championships and colorful shoes. Win the MVP of something beside the rookie/sophomore game. Play some defense. Don't be a star. Be Great.

As for the rest of the roster. This band of pirates, gamblers, politicians, intellectuals, carpenters and closeted Barry Manilow fans are ready for adventure. Magic 8-ball says: Raja Bell spends most the season auditioning for a role in Ocean's 14, replacing Bernie Mac. Leandro Barbosa reveals he speaks perfect english and appears in an E-Harmony commercial. Grant Hill travels everywhere by Segway- they make a deluxe model called the Grant. Alando Tucker forces his way in the rotation, Coach Porter starts calling him Tuck. Robin Lopez becomes the most 4th popular athlete in Phoenix, sponsors youth an AAU basketball team that wins a national championship. Goran Dragic, plays like Rondo... but lefthanded. Matt Barnes has a great season and earns a nice contract to stay in town for a while. Boris Diaw stars in tektonic dance video on youTube, rebounds better but still passes too much. Guys with long names get a few minutes, fans clamor they deserve more.

So what do we fans have to look forwardto this year? How about another year of enjoyable NBA basketball. I'll hold off on predictions and just really try to enjoy this season. I'm excited for the season to start. Rather than make excuses I've just listened to all the Spurs fans around me make them. I'd love for the Suns to win the title. I want to throw a sick championship party. I'd love for the Suns to be the first team to do a meet and great with President Obama, an avowed hoops fan.

Times are tough and we can find some inspiration in sports. While I hope the Suns can give us a season of excitement and fun, I think we as a fanbase can inspire our team. For you fortunate folks in the expensive seats at the US Airways Center, be louder than you've ever been. Yell for the sake of yelling and make it miserable for the road team. You should need a lozenge after the game. For you folks in upper ring, watch a few soccer matches and take notes. Be festive. Make our bench feel appreciated and loved. Give the Suns a tangible home-court advantage and enjoy yourselves. For distant Suns fans who have to travel to San Antonio, Milwaukee or Orlando to see the team, get booed at the arena. Wear your purple and orange with pride.

So my theme for this season is Die Hard. This season is for the Die Hard fans. The folks who'll keep rooting for the Suns through it all and who'll love it the most when we get that first ring. Hopefully the Suns will show some John McClane perseverance through all the challenges this season. Hopefully the Phoenix Suns will be the team that's the hardest to finish off. If they can do that, regardless of when the season ends- we'll be inspired.

Hans Gruber: You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.